The Friendship Guide
With my father visiting me this past weekend, I introduced him to the friends I had made over this first semester of college. Between the flurry of introductions, matcha lattes, and delectable pancakes, I realized the profoundness and quality of the friendships I had created over these past couple of months. Four girls from completely opposite ends of the world were now sitting in a cozy café in Lisbon, yapping away about travel experiences, politics, and where they wanted to go in life. I realized how quickly time had passed. The jittery pre-term nerves about making friends had dissipated into the current moment, where my friendships had transformed into sisterhood. Over the past few months, we’ve shared and built memories on the cobbled streets of Lisbon that will remain dear to me for a long time. So, how did it happen?
Before coming, I remember anxiously checking out everyone’s WhatsApp profiles, Instagram accounts, and phone country codes, theorizing who I would be friends with. This confession, while somewhat embarrassing, is one I know I’m not alone in making, and I hope it provides you with some comfort. After all, we humans just want to fit in. So, what better way to prepare for making friends than by trying to learn everything about them before meeting them?
Wrong.
Do not do this, please!
Honestly, the worst part of making friends was waiting to make them. Upon my arrival in Lisbon, Forward College planned an event for the incoming cohort. For me, this was my first official encounter with the people I would be with for the next three years. Of course, it was daunting. What if I didn’t fit in? What if people didn’t like me? What if I didn’t like them?
The plethora of “what ifs” feeding my anxiety soon disappeared when I stepped in and was welcomed by a crowd of friendly smiles and hellos. The ease and comfort I felt talking with my new peers soon translated into plans for coffee meetups, thrifting, city explorations, and nights out. These plans turned into reality, and bonds were created over time. Months later, I found myself enjoying brunch, introducing my dad to friends who truly knew me.
Reflecting on my journey, here’s what I learned about forming friendships:
Be intentional
Being a Forward College student comes with a big workload. However, the community you build around you will become your support system and motivation. During the first couple of months, it’s really important to invest time and effort into fostering friendships. You might have clicked with someone during induction week but have different majors, so you don’t see them at school. Take the time to ask them to coffee or invite them to any activity you’re interested in (I recommend brunch!). You have the whole city of Lisbon—and Portugal—to explore!
Be curious
You will encounter such a wide variety of people, cultures, and interests at Forward. Be curious: ask questions, try new things, and don’t hold back. Now is the time to explore new activities. I recommend joining student clubs, whether it’s surfing, running, cooking, or whatever is offered in your year. It’s a great way to meet new people and connect over shared interests or create a new hobby. Also, don’t be afraid to make friends outside of Forward. Portuguese friends not only guarantee a great time but also make excellent tour guides!
Be yourself
While this might sound cliché—and probably something your parents told you before coming—creating genuine friendships comes from authenticity. If you tend to be more introverted and shy, putting on the facade of being an energetic extrovert won’t be sustainable. Sometimes you won’t align with everything people are into, and it’s okay to step back if it means being true to yourself. This way, you’ll attract those with similar interests.
Be patient
In the beginning, it’s going to be hard. You’ll miss your friends, your family, the inside jokes, and the shared late-night habits. While instant friendships sometimes happen, others take time to build. Going back to the previous point, being intentional is key to creating those meaningful bonds. Friendships aren’t built overnight but over time, through shared memories, experiences, late nights studying, and so much more. These experiences enrich the relationships you create.
While this may seem like a lot to take in, just take a deep breath. Forward College’s small class sizes, close-knit cohort, clubs, and events provide the perfect atmosphere for creating friendships, so take advantage of it! You will find your people and your groove. Instead, be excited—you have a wonderful adventure awaiting you!
